You don't know. You just don't know.
So far, I don't really like this week at all... which isn't really a good thing since it's already thursday pretty much.
GAH.
So I found a deck of cards under my bed... so I've been card tossing into my landry basket and watching The Office for quite sometime. Once again, I feel like a lardass, and am just *BLAH SHOOT ME* [enter bullet through skull here]
David's jacket = best source of warmth :)
I'm mad. And well, the fact that I'm hungry isn't helping.
OKAY.
I couldn't stand the sight of it.
It's white feather-like fur, red glaring eyes. Pulsing eyes. I-I-I...
Nope. Fuck this.
I dont feel like writing, or drawing. WOW. That just cut out everything I'm "good" at. RAA...
heres a song.
the blue haze of the timely setting sun
we watch in drunken relief
cheeks stained of tears, the beauty's nearly done
you drown in petty grief
as the darkened dwells, and you lean on my shoulder
sorrow sobs echo in my ear
This has taken your life
This has wakened your fear
Being alone,
With no one to hear
you clutch at my selves
and you scream weakly in my face
you need to run away,
you need to leave this god awful place
staggering from me, not looking back
your head held high, though you don't know why
i reach out for your hand, but ofcorse i miss
you've reached the end of the street
to the blackened abyss
why do you run? why do you hide?
from the same old past you always deny
do you like wandering the streets alone?
just begging for sympathy
just longing for empathy
drunk in the city streets as you bitch and you moan
punching walls, your temper inching to ignite
fall to your knees
oh, how tender is the night
I don't really like it.
GOSH i am soooooooo negative haha.
"Honey. I want a new car... ra ra ra!" mother says.
father sighs, "we don't have the money, dear. Now go back to your sulking."
"WELL I WANT TO MOVE. I HATE THIS PLACE RA RA RA!" mother shouts and whines.
I raise my hand, "Parentals? mind STFU! You both are anoying and stupid. Get lives, please."
"STFU, STUPID DAUGHTER. YOU ARE BENIETH US! DIE DIE!"
and then I roll eyes and walk back into my room.
GAH. I want ice cream. and friday. and my blonde foo dog (david, foo dog is a thing from an amazing book, so deal) and i want a blanket... RA.
and I want a hundered dollars and a cheese burger.
31.3.10
8.3.10
RENAGADE LOG: The Blog.
So, I have to memorize a song for an audition tomorrow. I am terrified. I haven't been in a play or any drama related activity in quite a while, and I'm scared that I will screw up or my voice will crack or a piano will fall on me... the possiblities are endless. I will be singing *officially (since I change my mind a lot)* on "Send In The Clowns" from A Little Night Music. As boring of a song it is, I must. I went to see Alice in Wonderland yesterday with Tessa & friends, and I say: "Goooooood movie! But, why is a raven like a writing desk?" 
I also met Jacob (again, for the first time was a fail on my part). He is RADICAL. He is also the RENAGADE JOG guy... Thanks and goodnight.
I also met Jacob (again, for the first time was a fail on my part). He is RADICAL. He is also the RENAGADE JOG guy... Thanks and goodnight.
SOooo.. Wonderland, anyone?
Hey, sooo... advice? Horrible subject, I know.
But, we all need it. Even if we don't want to hear what the other person has to say.
Well, instead of asking your BFF(*FOOR LIFEZ OMG)[who will probably go behind your back anyway] YOU can ASK...
ALICE.
*link below* (you should click it, you know you want too)
OH! wait.
Before you clicky click away at mr.link, remember too email your problem, question, dilemma, issue, political stand point, topic of cool discussion, anything you think Alice should respond her opinion too. The email is... askaliceblog@hotmail.com
Now. CLICK LINK BELOW.
http://aliceadviceinwonderland.blogspot.com/
But, we all need it. Even if we don't want to hear what the other person has to say.
Well, instead of asking your BFF(*FOOR LIFEZ OMG)[who will probably go behind your back anyway] YOU can ASK...
ALICE.
*link below* (you should click it, you know you want too)
OH! wait.
Before you clicky click away at mr.link, remember too email your problem, question, dilemma, issue, political stand point, topic of cool discussion, anything you think Alice should respond her opinion too. The email is... askaliceblog@hotmail.com
Now. CLICK LINK BELOW.
http://aliceadviceinwonderland.blogspot.com/
6.3.10
Am I suppose to guess or something?
I had two dreams last night, both were really disturbing.
I'm not really sure if they are suppose to mean something... if they are, I'd like to know what. Hum...
I missed the PEW PEW last night... a little depressing but OH WELL (fuck you, Soufl).
It's Saturday morning (even though it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon)and everyone else is doing far more interesting things than me. All I'm doing is eating nuked pizza like a lardass, reading serafina67, and listening to The Kooks (not to mention BLOGGING. *oh god, I need a life*). I'm falling in amor with Patch... It's horrible since he isn't real.. well maybe he is... IDK> -_-
but lucky me, I have a very blonde and most fly BF, who is epic in all things epic. So, sorry Patch, maybe in another life... if you're even real, that is.
Kaboom!Girl and I are going to attempt to work on the spanish project tomorrow, which I'm sure we will just mess around yet get work done magically at the same time.
I've been working on my book (because I'm going so slowly at the novel writing process) and I must say, there must be a zombie epidemic soon. If there's not, I will die so UN-happy and UN-satisfied. I mean, COME ON. The world is far too over-populated, some people turning into undead canibals wouldn't hurt. The whole reason I want there to be a zomibe epidemic is...
A. I wouldn't have to worry about college or having a job. My degree would be a Masters in Ass-kickery.
B. I would have a perfectly good reason to light things on fire, blow up cars, chop up human beings. Over-all, distroy everything. Because, hey. There's zombies out there trying to harvest my organs and turn me into a meat pie.
C. NO MORE RAP/ BAD LAME MUSIC. All the rappers will get the zombie virus from the
50$-a-pop striphore they pick up anyway. So go ROCK AND ROLL!!!
D. Do I need a license? Nope.
E. BECAUSE IT'S A ZOMBIE EPIDEMIC, THAT'S WHY.
Enough said?
I'm not really sure if they are suppose to mean something... if they are, I'd like to know what. Hum...
I missed the PEW PEW last night... a little depressing but OH WELL (fuck you, Soufl).
It's Saturday morning (even though it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon)and everyone else is doing far more interesting things than me. All I'm doing is eating nuked pizza like a lardass, reading serafina67, and listening to The Kooks (not to mention BLOGGING. *oh god, I need a life*). I'm falling in amor with Patch... It's horrible since he isn't real.. well maybe he is... IDK> -_-
but lucky me, I have a very blonde and most fly BF, who is epic in all things epic. So, sorry Patch, maybe in another life... if you're even real, that is.
Kaboom!Girl and I are going to attempt to work on the spanish project tomorrow, which I'm sure we will just mess around yet get work done magically at the same time.
I've been working on my book (because I'm going so slowly at the novel writing process) and I must say, there must be a zombie epidemic soon. If there's not, I will die so UN-happy and UN-satisfied. I mean, COME ON. The world is far too over-populated, some people turning into undead canibals wouldn't hurt. The whole reason I want there to be a zomibe epidemic is...
A. I wouldn't have to worry about college or having a job. My degree would be a Masters in Ass-kickery.
B. I would have a perfectly good reason to light things on fire, blow up cars, chop up human beings. Over-all, distroy everything. Because, hey. There's zombies out there trying to harvest my organs and turn me into a meat pie.
C. NO MORE RAP/ BAD LAME MUSIC. All the rappers will get the zombie virus from the
50$-a-pop striphore they pick up anyway. So go ROCK AND ROLL!!!
D. Do I need a license? Nope.
E. BECAUSE IT'S A ZOMBIE EPIDEMIC, THAT'S WHY.
Enough said?
5.3.10
meh
Emotional Status: happy :] yet.. wanting monday already...
Phsyical Status: bwwaaa! My hair :/also, I think I should run more...
Current Love(s): serafina67 *urgently requires life* (british humor is BLOODY BRILLIANT), my new shoes :) (petal dusty pink patin leather T-strap flats *girly, I know..*), The Bravery (paticularly the Sun version of the album porque they are ingenius when using acoustic incline), emeraldy green nail polish (last minute UO buy), and of course My ALLIANCE. (and David, too.)
So, I feel slightly UN-grounded.
My mother is being like incrediblly nice and very *ass kissy*, it's really confusing, but I'll go with it.
TODAY.
I went to delamo afterschool with wolfmother and we were *ra ra ra HUNGER, she would have strangled something if we didnt eat soon. So, we ran into the nearest carnage cabana, to find ourselves in PF Chang's. I can't really tell if it's fancy or overated, probably both, but it was fucking amazing. The waiter was like, "You look like some girl I met in summer camp!" and then I raised my eyebrows because the dude was like forty, which from my "umm GRAPE" stare he corrects himself by saying "When I was in middle school... along long very long time ago, back when..." By this time, I tuned out to what he was saying completely and I began to think about what we learned in chemistry, and how it made no sense at all. Why? Why make us learn something that not even chemists need to know??? BITCH. Grr. And my chem teacher is such a cockblock. Just because your boyfriend doesn't like to hold you and keep you warm, doesn't mean you make everyone else suffer! GOSH. *opens lighter fluid and pours it on chem teacher's labtop* Shall we blow shit up? *takes out matches* Ooo, pretty colors. *lights labtop on fire and laughs as chem teacher crys*
Am I evil?
nooo.
I SPENT MONEY.
Lots of my glorious money that I should have saved, but whoops.
BUT, the clothes I got = YES.
Silky lacey baby blue bow top.
The amazing T-strap flats.
Ruffled dusty pink vest.
Ligght cobalt danity top.
Greeny blue nail polish.
Rinse wash "00" skinny jeans [I'm thin again, score!].
Grayish and Blackish tights.
Amazing new lipgloss.
and...
Retro, very vintage yellow lace bra and match undies. (SUCCESS)
Ahh.. yes...
clothing :)
HONESTLY.
(things I feel like I'm doing)
...invading David's personal bubble to much? am i? CONFUSION. am I clingy? hummm...
I hope not. Really, when chembitch called us out, I thought "OH NO" I just felt too laoqncop983a v8qbas;ds';d(on top of him)liauhfisuew. It's so different with David than Charlie, in a really really good way. I feel like he cares :)
humm... I wonder if he misses me just as much as I miss him...
IGNORE EVERYTHING ABOVE.
I want to ride a motorcycle! zooom.
Phsyical Status: bwwaaa! My hair :/also, I think I should run more...
Current Love(s): serafina67 *urgently requires life* (british humor is BLOODY BRILLIANT), my new shoes :) (petal dusty pink patin leather T-strap flats *girly, I know..*), The Bravery (paticularly the Sun version of the album porque they are ingenius when using acoustic incline), emeraldy green nail polish (last minute UO buy), and of course My ALLIANCE. (and David, too.)
So, I feel slightly UN-grounded.
My mother is being like incrediblly nice and very *ass kissy*, it's really confusing, but I'll go with it.
TODAY.
I went to delamo afterschool with wolfmother and we were *ra ra ra HUNGER, she would have strangled something if we didnt eat soon. So, we ran into the nearest carnage cabana, to find ourselves in PF Chang's. I can't really tell if it's fancy or overated, probably both, but it was fucking amazing. The waiter was like, "You look like some girl I met in summer camp!" and then I raised my eyebrows because the dude was like forty, which from my "umm GRAPE" stare he corrects himself by saying "When I was in middle school... along long very long time ago, back when..." By this time, I tuned out to what he was saying completely and I began to think about what we learned in chemistry, and how it made no sense at all. Why? Why make us learn something that not even chemists need to know??? BITCH. Grr. And my chem teacher is such a cockblock. Just because your boyfriend doesn't like to hold you and keep you warm, doesn't mean you make everyone else suffer! GOSH. *opens lighter fluid and pours it on chem teacher's labtop* Shall we blow shit up? *takes out matches* Ooo, pretty colors. *lights labtop on fire and laughs as chem teacher crys*
Am I evil?
nooo.
I SPENT MONEY.
Lots of my glorious money that I should have saved, but whoops.
BUT, the clothes I got = YES.
Silky lacey baby blue bow top.
The amazing T-strap flats.
Ruffled dusty pink vest.
Ligght cobalt danity top.
Greeny blue nail polish.
Rinse wash "00" skinny jeans [I'm thin again, score!].
Grayish and Blackish tights.
Amazing new lipgloss.
and...
Retro, very vintage yellow lace bra and match undies. (SUCCESS)
Ahh.. yes...
clothing :)
HONESTLY.
(things I feel like I'm doing)
...invading David's personal bubble to much? am i? CONFUSION. am I clingy? hummm...
I hope not. Really, when chembitch called us out, I thought "OH NO" I just felt too laoqncop983a v8qbas;ds';d(on top of him)liauhfisuew. It's so different with David than Charlie, in a really really good way. I feel like he cares :)
humm... I wonder if he misses me just as much as I miss him...
IGNORE EVERYTHING ABOVE.
I want to ride a motorcycle! zooom.
24.2.10
So, I went to *SOME STORE* and bought *SOME PRESENT* for *SOMEONE* and I got thee strangest looks from the cashier and people in line around me... but it was very much worth the "are you serious?" stares on people's faces.
HA. Today, in pe dance, written on the board was "Surprise Class" and we were informed that instead of doing dancie smancie things for the day, we would being in the supervision of the regular pe teacher, Mr. V, who taught me last year. That's not the best part though. The BEST part is that the regular pe class would take dance for the day. And though I don't care much for the 4th period pe class, the 5th period pe class however... My BF [DAVID(such epic capitalization)] has that class, and to see him dance would really just make my day.
MADLIBS...
~Tessa is ahhchooing in a field of flowers, as she blows up canada with her mind, on tuesday.
~She would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for Nico and his amazing bazooka/machete/guitar/core-novel/airplane/walkie-talkie.
~David snogged a mailbox while on the news, canadian children blew up into little tiny pieces.
~Amanda and Nico raced to canada in their shag-mobile, but they were too late...
~David had already stolen all the dead canadians mailboxes.
...
wow, this went no where.
David doesn't actually steal nor snog mailboxes, just throwing that out there.
Plus, I am way better than a mailbox!
Okay, must I remind myself to wear my most constricting rubber bands, so my teeth will be all *sparkle sparkle* and braces-free.
HOT ROD + NERDS ROPE + DAVID + FUZZY SLIPPERS + NO PARENTS/BROTHER + MY KNIVES=
What I wish I was doing this second. :(
HA. Today, in pe dance, written on the board was "Surprise Class" and we were informed that instead of doing dancie smancie things for the day, we would being in the supervision of the regular pe teacher, Mr. V, who taught me last year. That's not the best part though. The BEST part is that the regular pe class would take dance for the day. And though I don't care much for the 4th period pe class, the 5th period pe class however... My BF [DAVID(such epic capitalization)] has that class, and to see him dance would really just make my day.
MADLIBS...
~Tessa is ahhchooing in a field of flowers, as she blows up canada with her mind, on tuesday.
~She would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for Nico and his amazing bazooka/machete/guitar/core-novel/airplane/walkie-talkie.
~David snogged a mailbox while on the news, canadian children blew up into little tiny pieces.
~Amanda and Nico raced to canada in their shag-mobile, but they were too late...
~David had already stolen all the dead canadians mailboxes.
...
wow, this went no where.
David doesn't actually steal nor snog mailboxes, just throwing that out there.
Plus, I am way better than a mailbox!
Okay, must I remind myself to wear my most constricting rubber bands, so my teeth will be all *sparkle sparkle* and braces-free.
HOT ROD + NERDS ROPE + DAVID + FUZZY SLIPPERS + NO PARENTS/BROTHER + MY KNIVES=
What I wish I was doing this second. :(
23.2.10
MORTAKAI!!!
"Why are you looking at me that way?"
"What way?"
"Oh, come on. I'm not stupid."
"Well... umm, you have this thing..."
"What thing?"
"It's-it's this thing, this fuzzy... yellow.."
"Oh! My invincible animal spirit, Mortakai."
"... invincible animal ... Mortakai?..."
I want to *GRAPE* you.
Now, that, that just sounds wrong.
"What way?"
"Oh, come on. I'm not stupid."
"Well... umm, you have this thing..."
"What thing?"
"It's-it's this thing, this fuzzy... yellow.."
"Oh! My invincible animal spirit, Mortakai."
"... invincible animal ... Mortakai?..."
I want to *GRAPE* you.
Now, that, that just sounds wrong.
13.2.10
You're a 6, She's a 10. Oh, and she's a fucking zombie.
Everything has been building to this moment. Are you scared? Afraid?
The sleek sweat clams your tight grip and your hair sticks to your face.
You smile. She smiles. And then the expression on her face turns cold. Dead cold.
WAM! BLAM! POW!
She's a zombie and you're just a horny boy.
So, like any other teenage boy, you live for sex (or well the wanting to have sex). But, see, in order for you to get what you want, you need a girl. And that's when everything fucks you over.
Okay, so I may be stereotyping a bit here, you guys aren't all that bad, but you can't deny that to some extent it's true.
So what now? She was the perfect girl, had everything imaginable. The perfect skin, frail, sweet, big boobs.. and now she's a zombie. Are you going to bitch and moan about it? Or are you going to run your ass off and buy a gun? It's your move, dude. And by the way her eyes are rolled back and that blood spewing from her mouth, I'd say it's not the time to philosophize.
ha. this blog makes me want ice cream.
...and a gun.
The sleek sweat clams your tight grip and your hair sticks to your face.
You smile. She smiles. And then the expression on her face turns cold. Dead cold.
WAM! BLAM! POW!
She's a zombie and you're just a horny boy.
So, like any other teenage boy, you live for sex (or well the wanting to have sex). But, see, in order for you to get what you want, you need a girl. And that's when everything fucks you over.
Okay, so I may be stereotyping a bit here, you guys aren't all that bad, but you can't deny that to some extent it's true.
So what now? She was the perfect girl, had everything imaginable. The perfect skin, frail, sweet, big boobs.. and now she's a zombie. Are you going to bitch and moan about it? Or are you going to run your ass off and buy a gun? It's your move, dude. And by the way her eyes are rolled back and that blood spewing from her mouth, I'd say it's not the time to philosophize.
ha. this blog makes me want ice cream.
...and a gun.
12.2.10
Woah woah woah woah woah.
Now, when I say, "arrgg, I come from a long line of pirates. On my mother's side of course." Somehow, I don't really understand why, but people raise their eyebrows and back away slowly... ha ha, this I find funny. See, I raise my eyebrows all the time when people do odd, or rather dumbly humorous things. But, you can't see my eyebrows on account of my hair. It's brilliant. I can just raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes, and wrinkle my nose, but the whole facial expression is unseen to the person preforming this weird task (let's say, making odd noises as they do jumping jacks).
So, my awesome, rather annoying bangs aside, does anyone on this planet watch Castle besides me? It's an amazing show, but the view rate among most people I know is pretty low. Which isn't good, because rumor has it, they are stopping after this season. That would most definitely break my heart.
Okay! So yesterday, well it was an interesting day. And by interesting, I mean FUCKING SPECTACULARLY EPICFUL AND FILLED WITH AWESOMENESS. So, we had a Zombieland/Hot Fuzz movie night shin-dig at Nico's batcave. In my opinion, two of thee best movies ever made. We also threw knives, which I must say, completely badass. Amanda is practically flawless in they way she throws, and when she did, I imagined the target transforming from a hay stack to the Twilight cast, and Amanda nailed Robert Patterson right between the eyes. I gave Nico twelve inch nails as a late birthday present a while back and I finally got to see them whizz through the air as he threw. And then, as we went to retrieve the knives and arrows from Nico's crossbow, we found all of them except one of Amanda's throwing knives. We searched around, but when nothing turned up we resulted to plan B.
Using a hatchet, Nico hacked at the hillside, on a quest to find his Love's knife, but he came up with nothing. Then, David just took the hatchet from Nico and decided to cut at everything, including a random tree stump. So, they both did this as Amanda and I just watched, anticipating that David will most likely cut off his hand. But, luckily he managed to not hurt himself.
And before all of this, Amanda and David gave me birthday knives! And yeah, WOW. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you... I can go on forever and it still won't show my full happiness and appreciation. Ahh, David's is stuck open for some unknown reason, and I'm attempting to unstick it, but I'm scared I'll just screw it up!
Tonight is Tessa's play! I shall get ready and head over to her place, I'm rather excited because I know she'll do amazing.
So, here's a story.
I wrote this a while back, it's a vampire novel that I dropped when Twilight killed vampires. I'm not posting everthing, but here's a taste.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest¬e_id=476566020290
read it, but don't judge my knew book, Spooks, off of this please. They are two completely different styles and ways of writing, and the stories have nothing in common. Also I wrote this a very long time ago.
Now, when I say, "arrgg, I come from a long line of pirates. On my mother's side of course." Somehow, I don't really understand why, but people raise their eyebrows and back away slowly... ha ha, this I find funny. See, I raise my eyebrows all the time when people do odd, or rather dumbly humorous things. But, you can't see my eyebrows on account of my hair. It's brilliant. I can just raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes, and wrinkle my nose, but the whole facial expression is unseen to the person preforming this weird task (let's say, making odd noises as they do jumping jacks).
So, my awesome, rather annoying bangs aside, does anyone on this planet watch Castle besides me? It's an amazing show, but the view rate among most people I know is pretty low. Which isn't good, because rumor has it, they are stopping after this season. That would most definitely break my heart.
Okay! So yesterday, well it was an interesting day. And by interesting, I mean FUCKING SPECTACULARLY EPICFUL AND FILLED WITH AWESOMENESS. So, we had a Zombieland/Hot Fuzz movie night shin-dig at Nico's batcave. In my opinion, two of thee best movies ever made. We also threw knives, which I must say, completely badass. Amanda is practically flawless in they way she throws, and when she did, I imagined the target transforming from a hay stack to the Twilight cast, and Amanda nailed Robert Patterson right between the eyes. I gave Nico twelve inch nails as a late birthday present a while back and I finally got to see them whizz through the air as he threw. And then, as we went to retrieve the knives and arrows from Nico's crossbow, we found all of them except one of Amanda's throwing knives. We searched around, but when nothing turned up we resulted to plan B.
Using a hatchet, Nico hacked at the hillside, on a quest to find his Love's knife, but he came up with nothing. Then, David just took the hatchet from Nico and decided to cut at everything, including a random tree stump. So, they both did this as Amanda and I just watched, anticipating that David will most likely cut off his hand. But, luckily he managed to not hurt himself.
And before all of this, Amanda and David gave me birthday knives! And yeah, WOW. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you... I can go on forever and it still won't show my full happiness and appreciation. Ahh, David's is stuck open for some unknown reason, and I'm attempting to unstick it, but I'm scared I'll just screw it up!
Tonight is Tessa's play! I shall get ready and head over to her place, I'm rather excited because I know she'll do amazing.
So, here's a story.
I wrote this a while back, it's a vampire novel that I dropped when Twilight killed vampires. I'm not posting everthing, but here's a taste.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest¬e_id=476566020290
read it, but don't judge my knew book, Spooks, off of this please. They are two completely different styles and ways of writing, and the stories have nothing in common. Also I wrote this a very long time ago.
9.2.10
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